Christmas
for my little family, like many of you, consists of several gatherings, with
different groups and sides of the family in addition to our own Christmas morning
traditions that we’re trying to establish.
We have had three gatherings so far, and have one more to go. Do you find that it is hard to fit everything
in? Do you feel a pull in your heart to
be all things to all people during the Christmas season? To unknowingly spread yourself so thin trying
to get to everything that it almost takes the joy out of Christmas? Just me? This has been us in the past. We are trying to correct it.
For the majority of our marriage, my husband and I lived in
between our families—about 2 ½ hours from his, and 1 ½ hours from mine. Merging our holiday traditions did not go so
well. His extended family does Christmas
Eve, in the evening. My extended family
does Christmas lunch—in a different time zone that was an hour ahead of
us. Let me paint the picture: We would leave our house in the early morning
on Christmas Eve, and many times we left his area of the state (after
completing 3 gatherings/visits) around 1 or 2 AM on Christmas morning, to drive
the 2 ½ hours home. We would get 3 maybe
4 hours of sleep before we had to be up and ready to walk out the door to make
it the 100 + miles to my granny’s. When
did we have our Christmas you
ask? Usually had to happen Christmas
Evening, or before we left for his family’s house on Christmas Eve morning...it was almost an afterthought.
The
Christmas season became stressful to us, and a very sore topic, when a few
months before December we had to begin discussions about our plans, and how we
were going to coordinate all of it…how we were going to survive the somewhat epic
two-day event that would total around 500 miles, all within a little over 24
hours. We met the Christmas season with dread instead of joy.
Then in 2009 we became parents. The pressure we felt before then to try to
get to everything to see everybody for Christmas pales in comparison to what it
felt like once we wore the title of Mommy and Daddy. Everyone wanted to see our little man, which
we were so thankful for—but we were beginning to see at that point in our lives
that something had to change. We saw
that saying ‘yes’ to being everywhere wasn't working for us…and to each their
own. Some people enjoy the hustle and bustle
of it all. They would rather go through
the crazy rush to say that they were present at each of these gatherings than
to skip it. For us, it’s not that our families
are any less important to us, it’s just that our priorities have changed now
that we’re parents.
To
us, the most important thing is Jesus…celebrating His birth. For me, it was hard to focus on Him being the
reason for the season when I was stressed about getting all the gifts wrapped,
food made and in our vehicle and to make sure we left one place in time to get
to the next, and so on. We couldn't even
focus on truly enjoying our time with our family, much less thinking on Jesus.
Our next priority is our children…and their
Christmas experience. We want to have
Christmas Eve traditions in our home, and want our children to wake up in their house on Christmas morning to open
gifts. We want to read the Christmas story
from the Bible as a family, have a wonderful breakfast, and if we make it to my
granny’s for Christmas lunch (we live about 30 minutes from her now),
great. If we don’t, that’s okay
too. Each year since 2010, I've been
employed by a church that has a late evening Christmas Eve service, so we've not been able to attend my husband’s family gathering since then. Part of me is disappointed by that and it
hurts my heart that my husband has missed it.
Part of me is thankful that we aren't rushing around as we used to. For the past few years, we do Christmas with
them the week or so after, and it has worked well.
Maybe
things will change in the future, and we’ll be able to attend Christmas Eve
with my in-laws or we’ll stay in completely and not go anywhere. I don’t know.
I do know that whatever we
decide there will be zero stress involved.
I don’t want my children feeling that holiday pressure or to get the impression
that Christmas equals anything but Jesus—not gifts, not food, not traveling and
running around batty. It’s not a bad
thing to see family, and next to God, my husband, and children, my immediate
and extended families are the most important things in the world to me. Don’t get me wrong—I LOVE to see each of them
during Christmas and making the decision to dial back what we do during the
holidays has not been an easy one, and goes against my nature, especially since
it is usually the only time we’re all together during the year. However, I believe what I’m teaching my
children is more important, and will shape the way they look at the Christmas
season in the future. We may have close
to the same number of gatherings during Christmas—but they are more spread out,
and definitely a lot easier to get through.
I know that we definitely enjoy this time of year a lot more now than
earlier in our marriage.
We
were able to have my immediate family in our home for Christmas on the 28th,
and I LOVED the feeling of them being here.
I did a double batch of Hot Chocolate in the crock pot, which was a huge
hit with the kiddos! Want to try it?
Casey’s Crock Pot Hot Chocolate
Ingredients:
15
cups water
2
large cans Sweetened Condensed Milk
1
cup unsweetened cocoa powder
3
tsp vanilla extract
1
cinnamon stick
Marshmallows,
whipped cream, or whatever you like to put in your hot chocolate.
Directions:
In
a 5-6 quart crock pot combine water, sweetened condensed milk and vanilla. Add cocoa powder and cinnamon stick if
desired. Stir. Cook on low setting 4 hours, stirring every
hour. Serve hot. Can hold on warm setting for an hour. Top with marshmallows, whipped cream, or any
add-in that you desire. NOTE: the cinnamon stick is optional, but I highly
recommend it. It gave a great depth to
the hot chocolate. You
could easily cut this recipe in half and prepare it in a 3-4 quart crock
pot. There were 11 of us and most of us
had 2 or 3 mugs, and I had some left over, which I have enjoyed. :)
We
rang in the New Year pretty mildly—home together on the couch. 2013 wasn’t the best year for us…it was down
right ROUGH at times. It contained a lot
of good—but a lot of things I’m ready to forget about and move on from. It is my hope and prayer that 2014 is much
better. If 2013 wasn’t a great year for
you, trust in the Lord for, “…we
know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been
called according to His purpose,”
Romans 8:28 (NIV). Whatever the new year brings for you, remember
that putting Him first is always the way to start. Matthew 6:33 (NIV) says, “But seek
first His Kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to
you as well.” Love and blessings to each
of you!
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